is this what you call and op it looks like shit

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Let's maintain dazzling beer indefinitely.

Note: Although this thread is predominantly about Microsoft and the Xbox One, we are equal-opportunity bad-console-make-fun-of-r's. Feel free to post new lows from Sony, Nintendo or whoever in the gaming industry. There are no sacred cows.

Bass Bottles posted:

Intel&Sebastian posted: Hello fellow gamers!

Man I just cannot get over how much of a game changer the all in one xbox one entertainment system is. When I wake up next to the Playboy model I ploughed to near death last night on my ikea Globorro bed set the first thing I do is yell to the livingroom "XBOX ON" and boom all my favorite non-yahoo sports fantasy stats are there waiting for me as I begin to grill asparagus stalks for my japanese/french eggs benedict fusion brunch with kubashi radish bloody mary and sushi rice rissoto, sauced with a rice wine reduction jelly, served on a base of toasted crabcake fennel mash. Once the pressure cooker is in full swing my roommate wakes up and says "XBOX Play Sunset Overdrive", I assume he's trying to keep the Suicide Girl model he picked up at our garden party last night around for the afternoon (it's the kind of game that'll do that). I really dig the exclusive blink 182 track that plays over the intro screen so I say "XBOX volume up!" and get my rock on while plating. Soon enough though, wouldn't you know that the producer of my new web art project calls and you know those guys if he hears you listening to anything less than early Interpol they'll give you an earful so I yell "XBOX Mute" so we can go over the latest pagehit trends. Damn it feels good to be an XBOX One all in one entertainment guy. I'm on the deck of the Enterprise.

There's an interesting looking indie game that's getting released first on Playstation 4 but it should get released on Xbox One right?

No. Microsoft has a "parity clause" for indie games which means they will refuse to publish an indie game on their platforms unless they get a same-day release (or released first). Indie studios don't have the resources to prepare multiple versions of their games immediately, and generally favor releasing on the better-selling Playstation platforms first. The only exceptions to this policy are if an indie game is so successful that Microsoft begs for them to come on board (think near-Minecraft levels of success), or dodging the rule by releasing a new version of the game with new content (think a GOTY edition of an indie game).

Complete list of upcoming Xbox-exclusive games

Upcoming Xbox exclusives (2015) Halo 5 (October 7th) Forza Motorsport 6 (Fall 2015) Rise of the Tomb Raider (timed exclusive, also on Xbox 360) (Fall 2015)

Unlikely-to-be-release-in-2015-if-ever Fable Legends (F2P game, will also be on Windows 10) Phantom Dust (originally "2015", Microsoft mission creeped the dev into bankruptcy but swears the game is still coming)

2016 Quantum Break Scalebound Crackdown

This thread is for more of the negative aspects of the Xbox and Microsoft's related practices. For actual positive discussion of Microsoft/the Xbox One or constructive discussion of technical issues you're having, you will be better off in the following thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3608847

There is no "bitching about the PS4" thread because Fame Lifeles still hasn't posted the thread. That being said, genuine problems with Sony or the PS4 can be discussed in the general PS4 thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3585608

What does Loss expert Tim Buckley think of the DisKinect?

Powershift posted: Tim Buckley, you say.....

Is the Xbox One the next Dreamcast?

"No," said Swery. "Xbone has no games" - Developer of Xbox One-exclusive game D4 (paraphrased), zero fucks given

Previous threads (thanks Wiggly Wayne DDS!): 2013-05-21 - Next Generation Xbox Reveal Discussion Thread 2013-06-10 - E3 2013 Microsoft Chat: Xbox One is shaping up as terrible anti-gamer POS 2013-06-20 - Xbox One: Out 22 Nov 2013 (kids, stop fighting) 2013-11-06 - Xbox One: the technological tumor in your living room 2013-11-19 - Xbox One: general games, device and services thread. 2013-11-19 - Microsoft Gaming: Rendering concrete is overrated, jump in the shark tank 2013-11-26 - Xbox One General Discussion: Who cares about games, let's talk about headphones! 2014-02-14 - Xbox One General Discussion: Will Titanfall bring all the boys to the yard? 2014-02-27 - Xbox One Games Discussion Thread

I don't have a list of all the GBS ones.

Favorites from the web

StealthArcher posted:

Ryse 2: Full Ryse Conseqences this fall only on THE X-BONE

Arms_Akimbo posted:

I don't think this has been pointed out yet. Microsoft is using a fucking MUSHROOM CLOUD to promote their american console in Japan.

• http://www.somethingawful.com/news/...e-underpowered/

• When White Supremacist forum Stormfront asked itself whether to get the all-American Xbox One or stoop to the Japanese made PS4, one of them had this to say:

God is White posted: Those Japs know how to make a gaming console. As much as I would like to support an American company I am afraid PS4 is going to be my pick.

So what is everyone's problem with the Xbox One when the Xbox 360 did so well?

There are a ton of reasons, but the shortest version is that Microsoft's actions appear to be predominantly dictated by the will of its shareholders and not of the customers or gamers, a sort of "you will buy what we provide and like it, dammit!" mentality. Initially, it was more expensive than the Playstation 4 (although stores are fire-saleing the Xbox One now to get rid of them, with free games/gift cards which can bring the console's raw cost well below the PS4's if you want what they're throwing in anyway) and is demonstrably significantly less powerful, with almost all multi-platform games performing significantly worse on the Xbox One. The console uses DDR3 RAM for the entire system, which is the memory used in budget-level $50-100 graphics cards for PC's, but has 32 megs of fast ESRAM to try and compensate. If 32 megs sounds unbelievable, you're right.

(thanks, Wheany!)

Many games have to sacrifice resolution, framerate, or graphical effects to make their games work. The system also has significant usability shortcomings even compared to the 360, such as its party system, and was even worse before they finally got around to patching in essential features like a battery indicator (seriously, you had no warning before that your controller was about to die, it would just die mid-game). Also Microsoft and their affiliates have a really bad habit of putting their foot in their mouth and demonstrating all of the worst aspects of gaming "culture".

E3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbWgUO-Rqcw

The E3 reveal was derided quite heavily for focusing the bulk of its time on the TV-related features of the system (which turned out to require an HDMI set-top box and work terribly in countries which broadcast in PAL), as well as dubious sports features less capable than what people were doing before with smart phones and/or tablets. Gaming only got briefly touched on at the end with a reveal of the next Call of Duty game, a title which ended up running significantly better on the Playstation 4, to the point where Activision is now seriously considering making the PS4 their main platform (i.e. the one with 30-day early access to DLC) going forward.

This also doesn't touch on Microsoft's original plan to force all games to register against online servers, severely limiting the ability to trade/sell games and making the console unusable if internet connectivity was lost for longer than a 24-hour period, with the only consumer-side positive being a weird system of digitally lending games to friends that was never elaborated on. Some people out there thought this meant they could share the new Call of Duty 10 ways at $6 each because this is exactly what the only company which paywalled access to Netflix would do, but Microsoft never went into specifics. The fact that the whole Edward Snowden incident went down immediately after, revealing that Microsoft was recording all Skype calls and providing email backdoors for the NSA, didn't help make a better case for an always-online box in your living room that had a camera you weren't allowed to unplug (at the time). Further digging found this video advertising...advertisements.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixqwOIByMAc

Sony, meanwhile, released the following video in response to Microsoft's always-online DRM which went viral:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWSIFh8ICaA

Microsoft stuck to its guns in the weeks following E3, even insulting its customer base with limited ability to access the internet like soldiers in the military:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yC8FbgGnd0

When it became clear they were losing the pre-order wars almost 20:1 with the PS4, they finally relented to a return to the status quo. So to be clear, if you do end up with an Xbox One, physical and digital games work essentially the same as they did on the 360. They put the family sharing plan on hold for now. You also no longer need to have the Kinect hooked up, and most bundles sold today don't include one.

Launch

At launch, even sites with a reputation for being positive about Microsoft had a lot of negative things to say about the system. Despite a $750,000 cheque from Microsoft to fund a documentary, Polygon's livestream was filled with groans and frustration as the voice commands and snapping repeatedly failed to do what they were trying to show off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbjes4_vL7Y

Dead Rising 3, one of the flagship exclusive launch titles, was bogged down by minute-long load times (despite being completely installed to the hard drive) and occasional poor performance (dipping as low as 10fps according to Digital Foundry) despite running at 720p, the same resolution as several games on the Xbox 360. Attempts to resolve these issues via patches only revealed new shortcomings in the Xbox One console, as the patches were 13 gigabytes (larger than every entire downloadable 360 game except GTA 5) and cancelling the download (like if you just wanted to play now and didn't want to get overage charges on a patch) would instead delete the game entirely without warning.

Many who got the console quickly got similarly frustrated with the console, whether they paid for it or not.

The court of popular opinion continues to turn against Microsoft, even game designers:

And the much-touted party system that was in the 360 has taken a massive step backwards on the Xbox One.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qa2ngB6s3Z8

Current estimates suggest that the PS4 worldwide is outselling the Xbox One by at least 2:1. English-speaking countries (especially the U.S., U.K., and Australia) appear to be the only countries where the Xbox One has any relevance. In Japan, despite a slow start for the PS4, it is now selling about the same number of units per week that the Xbox One has sold total. In China, Xbox One got an official head start although their console was completely locked down with a library of only about 10 state-approved games; the PS4, meanwhile, although it forces you to use a Chinese PSN account, it can play disc-based games from anywhere. Microsoft has since patched the Chinese edition console to be region-free like its foreign counterparts.

Regardless, state mandates aren't as set-in-stone as one would think over there, and grey market region-free Western consoles and games imported from Hong Kong and Taiwan have been available since their original 2013 launch. Street vendors, for what it's worth, claim the PS4 has a strong lead.

The future

Microsoft is in full damage control mode as they scramble to find ways of improving the system's performance, and are currently leaning on DirectX 12 (Fable Legends will supposedly be the first game to use it).

While many Western-made games are still coming to it (as well as PS4), many are ending up with clearly inferior versions, with sub-1080p resolutions (including for games from traditionally Xbox-centric series like Trials Fusion) and a lack of content found on the PS4 version (such as most Ubisoft games having some extra missions for many of their games).

Although there was an initial belief the originally-mandatory Kinect pack-in would encourage development for a proper Kinect game, this hasn't manifested itself at all; Kinect Sports Rivals arrived months late and only built on people's frustrations with the Kinect (on top of the game completely missing the point of a pick up and play sports title, with the reviewers having to waste over a half-hour just to unlock the quick play feature, finally deciding they were better off sticking with the launch pack-in Wii Sports from 8 years ago).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URdvQ2j6BpE

The Kinect's unbundling (a.k.a. DisKinect) has effectively sealed its fate and it will never be more relevant than it was with the Xbox 360.

A bulleted list of issues:

Numerous games struggle to maintain decent framerates, even if they are running below 1080p (and many are). Many games running at 1080p cut serious corners to make it happen.

The voice commands don't work reliably for the majority of people, and are disabled entirely in some regions including many English-speaking ones. Each region only supports one specific language (with a few exceptions supporting two like Canada) and it's not possible to configure the console to override this, so if you tell your console that you are in Germany you will only be able to play games in German and use the console/voice commands in German. Territories where television is broadcast in PAL work very poorly with the TV passthrough features, with only a weak band-aid solution offered in a recent firmware update. It isn't possible to make 50 Hz transcode cleanly to 60 Hz without specialized and expensive hardware, and the console was only designed with 60 Hz NTSC signals in mind. Many games have long load times, time-consuming installs, and patches that are larger than every downloadable Xbox 360 game except GTA5...which delete the game if you cancel the patch download. This isn't hyperbole, this is a thing that actually happens: if you cancel a 13 gigabyte patch download it will delete the entire game and you will have to redownload/reinstall the entire thing. At no point are you warned this will happen. Numerous essential features like the ability to check the controller battery level or manage storage were only introduced in firmware updates which came months after launch. Certain promised features, such as the ability to turn an off-the-shelf retail console into a dev console, haven't materialized yet. In attempting to minimize the chance of a repeat of the RROD fiasco that cost them a billion dollars last time, the console itself is large with lots of vents and empty space. Its power supply is a huge external brick which needs its own cooling fan, and the Kinect also has its own fan. There are a lot of fans in different places, which will make the engineer in you twitch with rage involuntarily. They named the third Xbox the Xbox One.

So what "justifiable" reasons are there for getting an Xbox One?

Very, very little.

• Has a few streaming apps Playstation doesn't, like SlingTV for Americans (subscription-based streaming TV service), as well as Twitch and MLG apps (yay).
• Disc installs and online installs are identical. If you wanted to convert a disc install to a digital purchase on PS4 you have to re-download everything while on Bone it's an instant conversion.
• Can use external drives for game storage, which is actually really nice when your game collection starts getting huge. And with how long game installs take you really don't want to have to keep redoing them.
• Can play Audio CD's.
• Its version of the Plex app can handle video files with non-square pixels while the Playstation version doesn't seem to (this is apparently a recurring problem with various versions of Plex on different platforms)
• I guess can play media files from a USB storage device like certain MKV files? Dunno, haven't tested this much. Is also supposed to have DLNA support but at least in my case it's broken as fuck.

Welcome to the shark tank!

Submitted by XbonEthanolZone Xbox 720 Release Date 2015