This has really been shaking me up and I couldn't sleep. Please help me here everyone.
So I've been in a long term relationship with my gf since 2011, and this was the first time I asked her Father for money.
2 years ago I paid for her Dentist appointment, to get a cleaning, and with my new job where I'm getting paid well, I thought I should take care of this again this year. So I paid 195 for a cleaning and Xray, at a top level dentist in our area.
I go one day over their home and I'm having a nice chat with her Mom. I brought up that I paid 195 for her cleaning and Xray and the dentist found 2 cavities that with a discount will cost 214 dollars.
I asked if we could share the load of the dentist encounter so that I paid for the cleaning and they could pay for fixing the cavities.
She said she'd talk it over with her husband and wasn't sure(That was already a red flag). Why can't they pay for their daughters own dental?
Btw this is coming from parents that for the last 4 years, have not put their daughter on their healthcare plans because they felt it was too expensive. 2 year prior she wen to the emergency room for an ulcer problem she has and they racked up a 2,000 dollar bill she had to get discharged, which to be honest still hasn't been verified, because she claimed indigent status and was a full time College student.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways I see her father the next day and I ask him if his wife discussed it with him, and he immediately seems upset and says something along the lines of:
"Yes and I DON'T appreciate you talking to my wife about matters concerning my daughter asking me for money."
He caught me off guard. She wasn't asking him for money, I was.
I asked him if he could pay for her Dental, trying to be as blunt as possible and not show any negative emotion, and he said no he couldn't afford to because he was helping her to buy tires for her Car, since the tires have gone bald.
He kept raising his voice until he was yelling basically telling me to butt out of it, and saying he'd tell my parents a thing or two of the expenses I've accrued...
I have NO idea what he meant. I haven't taken a dime from them, and the only thing I can think of was when he bought his daughter Disneyland tickets and offered to buy another ticket for me(When we bought the tickets, he fought us on the price and swore they'd be cheaper and assumed we were trying to steal money from him or something. I actually paid about 200 dollars more than he did because i upgraded the ticket to 5 day instead of 2 day, and I upgraded them to park hoppers. He paid 370, I paid 200+ for the combined 500 dollar tickets.)
Barring that, I have no idea what he means. I always bring groceries to his home, and help take out their trash and clean up their messes. It really to this second boggles my mind...
My question is, what do I do, and how do I talk to him next time I see him?
I want to ask him what in the world he meant by the Money problems. I want to tell him I ASKED for the money not her. She ended up crying multiple times that day because of this.
A little more backstory, their family has a verizon plan that allows them to get a new phone. 2 years ago I bought her a Iphone 4s 32 gig, because they wouldn't get her a phone after hers was dying, even though the price would have been subsidized. However her family all got new phones.
Her father as of this year got an Iphone, and her mom got one too(2 years prior her mom got a Samsung Galaxy subsidized as well), and her brother got a new Samsung note, all with this plan.
She announced, with her used phone breaking and the power button not even working, she was going to get an Iphone. Immediately her family says no, her mom makes up some crap about the price, and my gf says she'll pay everything out of pocket.
Even with her saying she'll pay the initial cost, and the cost of insurance, her father says she's wasting her money, and her mom claims it'll hurt their phone bill, EVEN THOUGH, she's paying all the costs, the 200 to get the phone, and the insurance fee!!
She is terrified to get the new phone, and when I helped give her some courage to go they said the verizon account is past due by 500+ dollars and she can't upgrade anything without paying those past due bills.
Her family is terrible with money, and they lost their home of 20 years last year, after a 8 year or so protracted legal battle with bankruptcy(which they filed twice) and their mortgage payments which they stopped paying for years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honestly there is a lot of toxicity in that home, I just need to know what to say to him, and i'm dying to know what in the world money he thinks I took out of his pocket.
I'm really nervous and anxious over this. What do I say to him?
TLDR: Gf's father yelled at me when I asked him for money to pay for his daughters cavity fillings, and now I don't know what to say to him when I meet him again. Don't want him to be upset and ban me from his house. What do I say to him, how do I go about this? His family has a history of terrible financial issues.
EDIT: Btw what's the best flair for this issue? It's sort of dating, but sort of non-romatic.
Submitted by justthrow123 Samsung Galaxy Note 5 Gsmarena
No comments:
Post a Comment