Advice on how to continue.

Warning: giant wall of text incoming

Hey everyone, I (24m)and my wife (26f) have been together for 6 years and married for 3.

We have a single son. He is 2, and pretty awesome.

Im working in the military, just got promoted! My wife stays at home with my son. We only have one car, because that’s all I can afford right now. Just got backstory

From 2016-2019 I met her overseas. While stationed there. After I got out of the military and immigrated overseas and worked there because she didn’t want to leave. After Covid we decided to go back to America and I got back into the military. We are all here now, she is going through the immigration process.

Now I will list the points of tension.

She is a very emotional arguer, I do not show anger or sadness often, I am very patient. She will scream in my face, she has hit me, she throws things, she has called me a racial slur once. (and I think she is actually scared of black people). Once she told me I was just like my father (my father left my mother before I was born, I have never met him) which I found strange, because she’s never met my father, and I support her and my son. She has a therapist for her depression, but she hides all of it from Me.

She tells me she hates small talk, because it doesn’t matter. She tells me she hates deep conversations because she always feels wrong. Me and my wife have different strengths, we are both smart if different things. Sometimes we disagree about world views. But I am the type of person where I say “ I understand where you are coming from, and you may be right but I disagree” or “I don’t think there is a right or wrong in this situation I think there is a grey area” she takes this as me calling her stupid. I think she is smarter than me but it doesn’t matter what I think.

Money. Hot topic she handled money our whole relationship, budgeting and everything. I’m bad at it, she loves it. We agreed to make monthly allowances for both of us. I used part of my budget for credit on a game system. So every month 40% of my budget goes to paying off my new Xbox. She was okay with this. Now my credit score was 800. It is now 720, but has gone back up to 750. I opened the car loan in my name, her immigration papers, and now the living room furniture. I paid some of those things off, but nonetheless I did not want to open more credit. I offered as a present if she wanted to pick out a purse We would put it on credit. At the time she wanted one but then she got in an argument at the store. Ruined her mood and the purse got ruined (the worker scratched the leather while looking at it), so no purse. A month later she freaked on me because I didn’t want to pull credit out for her vanity and make up, because I wanted more finical security. So she decided to stop cooking for me, stop budgeting , so now I’m doing all that. Which is fine, but the added stress while also working can be annoying when I definitely feel like work loads aren’t even here.

She keeps asking for money even to though I have no more to give, it hurts for me to say no. She keeps saying it’s because “it’s your (me) money not ours” and i say “ it is our money, but yes I am the one that is making it” she says it’s financial abuse because one time I didn’t give her 40$ to go out with her friends even though she was already 100$ over her budget. She then wanted to separate and without my knowledge bought a plane ticket back overseas, over-drafted her own bank account overseas. She ended up changing her mind and returning the tickets, but I had to pay interest and overdraft fees about 400$. But I was happy she wasn’t leaving.

She doesn’t let me touch her. If we accidentally brush elbows in the kitchen. Or our feet touch on the couch, she will jump back or just leave the room entirely. We haven’t kissed in months, she hasn’t said she loved me.

Honestly I guess. After writing this, I can see that it’s over. I keep trying to hold it together. All my friends tell me she is abusive and gas lighting me. Tell me to record her and stuff for case something happens.

I guess I just don’t want to give up. And I don’t know how to proceed. I don’t want it to be over.

Submitted by roboprodigy15 | #Specialdealer Special Offer Online Shopping Store 2016