BerenSTAIN resident, here...

Can I just state something here? I am clearly from the Berenstain universe, but I remember having a shitty childhood. I read the books and watched the cartoon and I always pronounced them "bear and stain" bears.

I would have never called them BerenSTEIN Bears because I hate smelly-ass Jews and I had a smelly-ass Jew teacher and she smelled like cigarettes and liquor every day. Stein, Berg/Burg, and Crantz are the most common Jew surname suffixes there are, so I would clearly not have been a fan of the BerenSTEIN Bears had this always been the case. "Bear and Stain Bears" sounds easier and more euphonious, so I clearly have been part of this shitty universe, all along.

But in the BerenSTEIN universe, how were things?

• Was JFK never shot?
• Did the Illuminati never take over after they never-shot JFK?
• Was Richard Nixon not a thing?
• Did 9/11 never happen? Do you know who Osama Bin Laden is?
• Did Al Gore get elected president and fund renewable energy sources?
• Did Firefly never get canceled and lasted ten seasons and three movies?
• Is cancer a thing of the past?
• Is world hunger eradicated and not even a problem anymore?
• Did The Sarah Connor Chronicles continue to air six more seasons after Firefly on Wednesday nights on FOX?
• Is The Cape a USA original series and one of the highest rated TV shows to ever be made?
• Is the word "social justice warrior" not a thing there and are "feminists" a thing completely stuck in the past (most recently, the late 90's, perhaps)?
• Is ISIS not a thing? How about Al Queda?
• Is Black Lives Matter not a thing?
• Is racism and bigotry 99.9% dead in your society?
• Is the Middle East a safe and nice place to visit or take a vacation in? How about any non-South-Africa country in Africa?
• Is the worst villain and bad guy in your society only Shia LeBouf or Lindsay Lohan?
• Are Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump no longer relevant in the 2010's?
• Is the Xbox 720 the greatest gaming console ever?
• Is EA a great game company with a great reputation?
• Are The Kardashian family or Bruce/Caitlin Jenner not any names you know too well?
• Is legal gay marriage and marijuana something that happened in America a long time ago?
• Is the European Union no longer alive?
• Is Morgan Freeman president of the United States, yet?
• Has NASA set up space colonies on Mars, yet?
• Are sexbots cheap and affordable in your universe? Do they even exist?
• Is Zack Snyder not a thing and is the DC Cinematic Universe is the greatest thing to ever happen to comic book nerds in history?

HOW IS THE BERENSTEIN UNIVERSE?!? Tell me!

Submitted by Mcheetah2 | #Specialdealer Special Offer Online Shopping Store 2016